Monday, January 21, 2013

Ordering Your Wedding Gown



What happens when you order your wedding gown?
 
You’ve found the dress, it is available at your favourite salon, and you are ready to order! Congratulations, this is a very exciting step and after you will feel giddy and pleased. One of the questions I get about this step is: what actually happens when you are at the salon, ready to order your gown?

You will try on the sample gown again
If the salon has a sample of the gown you are choosing, you will be asked to try it on for the last time. The attendant will measure how many inches too large or too small it is by pulling the fabric towards your back and using a measuring tape. Try to keep track how many times you try on the sample gown and your own gown before the wedding – it makes for a fun guessing game at the bridal shower!

You will be measured
Next, while in your own clothes, the attendant will measure your bust, waist and hips. These measurements along with the measurements taken while you were wearing the sample, she will look to her guide book and estimate the best size gown for your body. 

You will be told what size you are
With all these measurements, and the guidelines from the manufacturer, the attendant will tell you what size will best fit you. Keep in mind your gown will more than likely need to be altered anyways (it is easier to make a gown smaller than larger). When you are told the size of the gown being ordered, don’t freak out! I am typically a size 5 at most department stores, but my wedding gown is a size 8. The main point to remember is that size is just a number! You want your wedding gown to fit your body as perfectly as possible, and if that means a larger size than you are used to wearing – so be it. You will look beautiful wearing your gown, and no one will know what the tag said. Wedding dresses fit smaller than department store dresses, so pretty much anybody who wears a wedding gown is a size larger than expected. 

You will pay a deposit
The salon will order your gown and you will be required to pay a deposit. This could be around 50% of the gown price and is most likely non-refundable. The salon will give you an estimated date your gown will arrive. Mark it on your calendar with a smiley-face. 

You will double check the details
Double check that the salon has the correct gown brand and style, size and colour, and that your name is written down correctly on the invoice. When I ordered my gown, I realized the attendant had written my last name incorrectly on the invoice! I had that fixed right away. Otherwise in 6-8 months when my gown arrived, the salon might take a few days to investigate if I actually paid my deposit. Have any mistakes corrected as soon as possible after your visit to the salon. If the salon said it is no tax month, make sure it is written on the invoice. You can also ask for extra information added to the invoice, such as “order extra organza for hairpiece” so no one forgets why there is extra fabric with your order. Make your own notes too, such as the name of the attendant who was assisting you.

You will go home with instructions
The salon will give you a sheet of instructions which include information on alterations, when the balance of your gown purchase is due, the proper procedure for picking up your gown and more. Read these and keep them in a safe place. My instructions mention “a pick-up time for gowns must be booked 1 week in advance”! I’ll have to mark that on the calendar too so I don’t forget!

 You will leave feeling giddy and elated!
Pat yourself on the back – you’ve checked off another box on your to-do list and ordered one of the most important pieces of the wedding puzzle! Keep that huge smile on your face all day, update your social networking page and brag to all of your friends and family members. This is a big load off your back and you deserve to feel this happy!

Questions for you:
How long did it take your gown to arrive at the salon after you ordered it? How many times did you have to go in for alterations? How soon in advance of the wedding date did you pick up your gown to take home? What size are you normally, and what size gown did you order? Comment down below or send me an email to tell me of your experience!

To have and to hold,
Elizabeth Honey

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

What Should I Expect At A Bridal Show?

Part 2 of 2

Let’s re-cap what you learned in part 1:
  • Bring pre-printed address labels, stickers, a pen and a backpack or other large shoulder bag. 
  •  Bring your maid of honour. Leave kids and young teens at home.
  •  Plan to be at the show for 3 hours. Bring some change to buy water.
  •  Any vendor who can put a wedding-related spin on their business with be in attendance. This includes travel agencies, mortgage brokers, fitness consultants, and maybe even psychics if you’re lucky.

What will happen at the bridal show?
  • You will arrive and receive a plastic bag filled with thick magazines, a wedding planner guide book, select vendor business cards and brochures and a sticker saying “I’m the bride” to put on your shirt – all before you even enter the show. This bag will be lots of fun when you get home, but will be very heavy at the show! Ask your entourage take turns holding the bag with you.
  • You’ll walk in and find aisles packed to the edge with vendors. The booths are directly beside each other and are on both sides of the aisle. Your “I’m the bride” sticker will let every vendor know YOU are the decision maker, and will cause them to vie for your attention every second you are in their vicinity. People will be handing you brochures left, right and centre and you won’t be able to stuff them in your bag fast enough. Give your entourage a raised eyebrow if you need them to distract a pushy salesperson so you can escape.
  • Remember to keep your eye on the game plan. Find the vendors you definitely want to talk to and go straight for them. Don’t get distracted and don’t waste time being overly polite with the harder to shake sales people. This is where your list will come in handy and keep you on track. When you have time later you can visit vendors you missed.
  • Have a pen on you, so you can write details directly on the brochures. For example, if the bridal attire shop sounds wonderful but their business card doesn’t have the name of the lady you spoke with, ask for her name and write it down directly on the card. Then put a happy face sticker on it. Remember your stickers!
  • In part 1 I told you to bring a small dollar-store stapler. This is because many times a vendor will have a business card and a brochure - but now you’ve got 2 pieces of paper and they will not stay together when you stuff it into your bag. Allocate someone who goes with you to staple all pieces of paper from the same vendor together, and then when you go home you can separate them if necessary.
  • Have your entourage look at other vendors if you are busy speaking to one. There will be so many vendors you won’t be able to look at every one unless you do another round (by the end you’ll just want a margarita!). While they are scanning for other vendors you need (from the list you gave them) they can act as extra eyes helping you see what you may not be able to see.
  • I’d suggest bringing a bottle of water, but that just adds extra weight. Perhaps bring a few dollars to buy water there for when you sit down to watch the fashion show. The reason I say this is because there will be LOTS of goodies (cupcakes, chocolate, and candies) for you to sample at the bridal show…but no one offers anything to drink. Keep yourself hydrated and stay away from too much sugar – you will crash afterwards (I know from experience).
  • If you find a vendor you need, ask them questions. Many times there will not be prices on their hand-outs so ask. For example: How much is this wedding cake you have on display; how much does this bridal bouquet go for; is this an example of a head table backdrop; do you provide discounts for bundling services; what is the price per sugar cookie favour you have on display? Write the answers down on their brochure and put a sticker on it. 
  • Lastly, keep in mind that vendors will often have special offers at the bridal show which they normally don't have. So this is a great opportunity to inquire about discounts. Never be afraid to ask for a discount. For example, "If I book within 30 days of this bridal show, can I get a 10% discount?" Be prepared for them to say no, but vendors rent space at the bridal show to get customers, so they should be will willing to at least discuss discount options.

What will happen after the bridal show?
  • You and your entourage will be exhausted but excited and you will find a communal place to discuss the loot. We did this at my house and everyone dumped out their bags (just like Halloween - I kid you not), and threw out the garbage and duplicates. Remember to keep in mind you have lots of other reasons these vendors may be of use to you. Think of your bachelorette, buck and doe, bridalshower, etc. If the vendor isn’t right for your wedding, think of other places they may be useful.The point here isn't to horde, but save yourself time later when you remember you forgot something such as bridal shower guest favours.
  • We put the brochures that were on my “interested” list in to a pile, and recycled the rest. This pile was then separated into vendors I needed such as “DJ”, “Video”, “Officiate”, “Limo”, etc. I tell you, those stickers definitely do come in handy. My piles consist of 5 limo companies, 7 DJs, 4 officiates, 8 venues, and 5 bakeries and 10 miscellaneous (imagine how many I recycled!)
  • Make sure to thank your entourage for going with you. It is an exhausting event, may have cost them money for admission, and they are going only for you. They get nothing out of it other than some sample goodies, so thank them. 

Reading this may have been a bit overwhelming (and you haven’t attended the show yet!) but I promise it is fun when you are prepared. Make sure you eat before you go and stay hydrated. You will get distracted by pretty shiny things along your way to see that florist you’ve read so much about, but try to stay on task. I suggest arriving so the fashion show is half-way between when you arrive and when you leave so you get a break from all the excitement, and can put down all your bags and grab some water.

Do you have any other tips for bridal shows?

To have and to hold,
Elizabeth Honey

Friday, May 18, 2012

What Should I Expect At A Bridal Show?


Part 1 of 2
You know those community events that are usually held in a conference center where many wedding vendors set up booths to generate business? That is a bridal show! Well, our first bridal show is here! All the ladies in my wedding party are able to come (the groom has made himself scarce), and I am packed and ready to go. Wait a second…packed? What do I mean by that, you may ask? There is some planning you should do before you just jump right into a bridal show, otherwise you’ll come out of it exhausted and overwhelmed.

What am I supposed to do at a bridal show?
A bridal show is supposed to be your little black book of wedding vendors. Often there will be many different companies of the same business (e.g. wedding planners). This is a great opportunity to check out businesses and see what videographer A has over videographer B. Also, it gives you a chance to possibly meet face-to-face some people you may hire to work on your wedding with you. Since most conversations are done via email or phone, getting to meet the business owner or operator in person can help you decide if they are someone you want to work with.

What vendors are at a bridal show?
You will see wedding related business with booths to advertise their services. Included are: bakers, florists, jewellers, disk jockeys, wedding planners, decor companies and fitness consultants as well as many many others you would not even think of such as psychics, dancers, mortgage consultants and financial advisors. 
Also, there are fashion shows to display wedding attire. Most of the outfits are available by a salon which also has a booth at the show so you can directly speak to a representative if you see something you like. A nice perk to the bridal shows I’ve attended is they sometimes have male models in the fashion show to display men’s wedding attire. This is great because if you have a male partner he may not know where to get his wedding attire, and also eye candy better for the hips than sugar candy.

Who should I bring with me to a bridal show?
I suggest you bring no more than 4 other people. There will be a ton of people at the show and it will be hard to keep track of everyone. Definitely bring your maid of honour and some bridesmaids if you can. Leave children and young teens at home – they can look at your brochures when you get back and they will definitely get bored fast.

How long will I be at a bridal show?
Plan on attending the show for at least 3 hours. Sounds like a long time – but trust me, there will be over 100 vendors and you’ll walk by each one of them grabbing pamphlets, talking to vendors who interest you, and watching the fashion shows.

What should I do before attending a bridal show?
  • Website: Check out the bridal show website to get an idea of which vendors will be there.
  • Priority List: Mark down vendors you definitely want to talk to, which services you still need, and which services you do not need. Give a copy of this list to your entourage so they know what you are looking to accomplish.
  • Check the time: Find out what time the fashion shows are and make sure you can watch at least one.
  • Bag: Get a laptop style bag with a shoulder strap to put all of the vendor papers into. This keeps your hands free for writing notes and grabbing other brochures. Make sure all your ladies bring a bag to put brochures in also.
  • Stickers! Stars, smile faces, ones with funny sayings, or whatever you desire.
  • Pen: Bring a pen and a small stapler from the dollar store. Some vendors will give you more than one brochure.
  • LABELS! Print off address labels. This is inexpensive and is an amazing idea.

Explanation:

At the bridal show you will be completely overwhelmed with brochures, pamphlets, business cards and samples. Everywhere you turn someone will be handing you something and it is very difficult to hold on to all of this stuff. You absolutely need a large, well supported bag to put all of this paperwork into. Believe me, the bag will weigh about 10 pounds extra by the time you leave considering you start off the show by receiving several thick bridal magazines. By writing down who you want to see, and who you are interested inahead of time (give a copy to everyone you go with), youwill stay focused.

The sticker idea is fantastic! Picture this- you talk with a DJ who offers everything you want, will give you a discount, can do your buck and doe, and is within your budget. You go home, dump out your loot and find 10 DJ business cards! Which one was his??? Having a sticker to identify vendors you are interested in will help you when you get home. Trust me, they all begin to blend together and the business card doesn’t say “The DJ with glasses, dark hair and a tattoo on his forearm”.

On the labels write your name, phone number, full address, email address and wedding date (even if you only have a tentative one). Almost every vendor will have a “draw” of some sort and imagine writing this information down by hand 100 times? Get enough pages of labels so everyone you bring with you can have a sheet and put your name in for draws on your behalf. Note: you will definitely get emails from vendors. If you aren’t so keen about this, look for a free email client and set up a new email address just for wedding stuff such as judy.wedding@email.com.

Look for part 2 coming soon. 
What did you bring to the bridal show to help stay organized?

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Engagement Photo Shoot – part 2

Let’s re-cap part 1. You’ve already chosen:
  • Who  to photograph you – professional or not
  • What to wear – something you are comfortable in and accents your best features
  • Where to have the pictures taken – chosen by the photographer or yourself
  • Why - for your save-the-date cards, to frame the photos at your wedding reception or for your home
  • When to have the pictures taken
Now you are ready to ask: What happens at an engagement photo shoot?
 
I’ve already had mine done so I can speak from experience. Here are some of my details: We were engaged in April 2011 and had our engagement pictures taken in October 2011. Our wedding was planned for November 2013 so we did not have to rush. We chose October for our pictures because we both love the fall colours and our wedding colour is red, so we hoped to get some red, orange and yellow leaves in our photos. We wore dark jeans, black shoes and grey sweaters with white undershirts. My fiancĂ© and I had a professional photographer who was local to the area we live in and he suggested we take our pictures by a waterfall. 

Bring with you:
  • Lipstick and a small mirror (you will be kissing your sweetie a lot today, so you will need to re-apply). 
  • Facial tissues to wipe away tears, stray eyeliner and/or to use for blowing your nose if the weather gets windy or your allergies act up.
  • Blanket if you are having photos outdoors and may need to sit on the ground for some shots
  • Props such as a scarf, a puppy (haha…), hats, sunglasses, umbrella etc. We brought a scarf since it was October and we got some good shots using it tying us both up in a bow, pulling it around his neck to lean in for a kiss, etc.
During the photo shoot:
  • Smile for the camera. The photographer will often ask you to pose in a specific way while they jump around to different angles for the best shot. Also, they will sometimes suggest you just “relax” so they can get a few in-the-moment shots that are not pre-planned. Remember to smile! 
  • Hold still. You will be asked to “hold that pose” many, many times! Often this will be while you are mid-kiss with your sweetie. Holding a kiss perfectly still while someone takes pictures of you is difficult. During my photo shoot holding the kiss was so odd that I would laugh out loud and need to compose myself before we started shooting again.
  • Go with the flow. Your photographer may ask you to pose in ways that seem odd or silly to you. I suggest you go with the flow and give it a try. It is possible the pictures won’t turn out the best, but what if they turn out beautifully? If the person behind the camera has done this before, they may know a few tricks you don’t.
  • Check out all areas. You may be in one particular spot (such as a waterfall), but there are many places to take photos. Move around and try out different areas. I was at a waterfall, and we have pictures in 6 different areas: on a small bridge, sitting by a stream, on a rock, in some tall grass, by the waterfall, on rocks by the waterfall, and on a bench.
  • Have fun. The whole experience will be a bit silly and you may be stressed thinking you will have these pictures forever but remind yourself to breathe and ask the photographer for a minute or two break to get yourself together if you feel a bit strained.
After the photo shoot:

When the pictures are developed you will have the option to purchase them from the photographer. You can either purchase individual prints, a package of prints, or maybe purchase all the photos in digital form on a disk. 

I definitely suggest buying the digital copies of photos because professional photographers often charge a lot of money for prints. From personal experience I can tell you our photographer charges $22.00 for an 8x10 print. My fiancĂ© and I instead purchased from him 80 professionally edited photos on a digital CD Rom disk for the computer and the disk cost us $100. We then used the disk to purchase prints at a local big box store who charged $2.00 per 8x10 print. –much better! I printed off one of each photo in a 4x6 size to put in an album and then printed larger sizes for family and my home.

Make sure to discuss the experience with your partner to see if you would like to book them for the wedding. Suggestion – wait until you receive the engagement pictures from them before you decide for sure. A picture tells a thousand words and some of those words describe if you want them to do your wedding photos or not.

Did you get engagement photos done? Did you use that photographer for your wedding photos – why or why not?

To Have and To Hold,
Elizabeth Honey

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Engagement Photo Shoot - Part 1

      Wow, time passes by quickly! We have been engaged for a few months now and haven’t even thought of an engagement photo shoot or booked the photographer. Read below for questions about engagement photo shoots. 

      Why should we get engagement pictures taken?

  • To put on your save-the-date cards.
  • To have at your wedding reception, framed, in a collage by your guest book/entrance.
  • For practice having professional photos taken before the big day.
  • To test out your wedding photographer and see if they work well with you.
  • To have some pictures of you as a couple. Other than pictures taken by your cell phone, do you have photos of you two as a couple? Do you have any pictures of you two on your walls at home? This is a great opportunity to get some taken and for them to be used in your wedding too!


When should we have the photo shoot done?

  • 8-9 months in advance if you want to use one of the pictures for your save-the-date cards.
  • 4-6 months in advance if you want to use the pictures at the wedding (for your guest book table or at the entry of your reception). 
  • ‘Tis the season. You may need to go outside those above timelines if you want the pictures taken outdoors in a particular season. Discuss with your photographer – they are the experts!
·       Remember, photographers in the wedding business generally book up quickly. As soon as you start thinking about engagement photos contact the photographer and ask what dates they have available. You may have to work around them if you need the photos by a certain date.

How do we pick the location?


  • Ask the professional. If you choose a photographer who does engagement shoots often, they should know the best places to go in your area, no matter which season it is. 
  •  Is there someplace special to you and your fiancĂ©? For example: the setting of your first date; the place you were proposed to; your favourite park; the place where you first met; etc. 
  •  What type of photos do you want? Romantic? Silly? Intimate? Relaxed? Go to a place where both you and your fiancĂ© feel this way. For example: a park, carnival, coffee shop, the house you grew up in, a waterfall, or a historic area of town.
Your photographer may let you pick more than one location to get different styles of pictures (they may charge extra for this). Also, you and your loved one should bring a change of clothes for the second location.
 
What do we wear?


  • Clothes you are comfortable in. For example, dark jeans and white shirts, or both in formal attire. Try to match a little bit in terms of the style of your outfits. Your photographer will be able to help you with this. You can also go online and view other couples’ engagement photos to get ideas from what they wore.
·       In ours, my fiancĂ© wore dark jeans and a dark grey long sleeved sweater with a white, collared dress shirt underneath. I wore slightly lighter dark jeans and a light grey long sleeved v-neck sweater with a lacy white tank top underneath. We both wore black dress shoes.

      As for what actually happens during the photoshoot, stay tuned for Part 2 where I will tell you of our experience. If you have had an engagement photo shoot and have some tips relating to this post, please comment below.

To have and to hold,
Elizabeth Honey

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Wedding Guest List Jitters

To help us prepare our budget, my fiancé and I need to have a good idea of how many people we will invite to our wedding. Easier said than done! After 3 hours of writing down names of family and friends the number is surprisingly larger than expected. From attending other weddings we have a number in our head of how many guests we would like to have, but the number of names we wrote down is about 40 people over. What do you do when you have not enough or too many wedding guest list names?

Who can I add to increase the guest list number? 

  • Contact your close family members and ask if you have forgotten anybody. 
  • Add plus one’s for the people on your list with no known partner. 
  • Do up a general schematic of tables and chairs. Who will sit with whom? If you have tables with empty spaces, think of people that would get along with, or already know, those at the table. 
  •  Ask your close family and friends if they want to invite anyone.
  • If those in your wedding party invite a plus one, who will that person sit with? Perhaps you can invite the wedding party member’s parents or siblings if you know them. 
  • Look on your social media friend lists for ideas. 
  • Invite past co-workers who you got along with.

Who can I cut to decrease the guest list number?

  • Have both you and your fiancĂ© met the person?
  • Have they supported your engagement?
  • Are they nice to you?
  • Do they cause drama?
  • Do you know them?
  • Plus ones.
Regarding the drama queen or king: Keep the drama out of the wedding! You don’t want to think of your wedding and the first picture you have is of Cousin Sheila asking your father-in-law to do body shots. 

Do you know the person you plan to invite? Remember, you are trying to cut people off the list. Your distant uncle who you knew when you were a child and your family hasn't spoken to since should get cut. And now, with plus ones: Not everyone needs to have a plus one. If there are many other people at the table who that person knows, then perhaps you can cut out their plus one.

Final Thoughts

Sometimes venues require you to have a minimum or maximum number of guests to get a particular ballroom. This happened with us. We had a perfect number in mind, but the venue needed at least 25 more bodies for the ballroom we wanted. So we cut down the list originally, and then added people back. What a rollercoaster - and the venue isn’t even booked yet! 

Also, remember to invite more people than you want as your final number, because it’s likely that not everyone will RSVP yes (more on that in a later blog). These tips helped us out a lot, and I hope they help you too!

To have and to hold,
Elizabeth Honey

Friday, October 21, 2011

How to Include the Un-Included


Now that my wedding party is chosen, I’ve heard mumbles from people who expected to be in it. A few of these surprised me, but some I was anticipating. Obviously I can’t have a larger wedding party than I have guests, but I feel the need to respond in some way. How do you respond to those that weren’t included in the wedding party, but expected to be?

If you still want some of those people to be involved, there are several options. 
You can ask them to…
  • Do a reading at the ceremony.
  • Make a toast at the reception.
  • Help you in smaller ways, such as making sure everyone has found their seat.
  • Get their advice on topics they may have experience with (e.g. menu or dance songs).
  • Be the master of ceremonies at your reception.
  • Be a flower girl/ring bearer or junior bridesmaid/ junior groomsmen.
  • Give a speech at your reception.
  • Be the guest book attendant.
The main point here is to make people feel appreciated if you do want them involved in some way. Now that I look at the suggestions above, I may have to ask people to help with those duties because I forgot they need to get done!

If there are some people who simply cannot be involved, here are ideas of what to politely say to them:
  • I need to keep the wedding party small.
  • I’m only including family members (say this if you really are, and the person asking isn’t family).
  • I need those in the wedding party to live close to me for the wedding preparations (if the person asking lives far away).
  • I was/will be in their wedding party (possibly a fib, but if you’re desperate then try it).
  • Explain that you want those closest to you at this point in your life to be chosen.
  • There will be a financial responsibility involved and I know you are saving for _____ (trip, new house, education, hobby, etc).
  • Or of course you don’t have to respond at all. If you didn’t lead them to believe they would be picked then they assumed they would included.
You must be reading this either for entertainment, or because you are the type of person who doesn't want to just say "f*** off" to the person who wasn't included. So, remember to not get bullied into including someone, and use these tips and advice to help you stick to your gut feeling. This will be your day, and you don’t want to have any regrets or worries.

Let me know how your situations went in the comments below, and good luck!

To have and to hold,

Elizabeth Honey